Rites of Passage for Growth and Happiness

Navigating Important Life Transitions and Creating Soul-Nurturing Ceremonies

How do you want to navigate important life events?

A rite of passage is a ritual or ceremony that marks an important transition in an individual’s life. Here are some examples of common transitions that have a big impact on how you navigate your time here on planet earth.

Starting school
Moving from childhood to adulthood
Ending a career and beginning a new chapter
Getting married, divorced, or moving to a new city, town, or country
A birth or an addition of a new family member
The transition of a partner or loved one into nonphysical form

Think of your milestones. Which ones have had the biggest impact on how you experience day-to-day life?

Rites of passage ceremonies can vary widely, from religious services, community celebrations, to personal, cultural or family-specific traditions. They can be experienced with a group of people, or be private rituals that recognize and pay tribute to an important life event.

They’ve been a part of human culture for centuries, and are still commonly practiced in some parts of the world. However, in recent centuries, ceremonies that mark the passage of an important milestone have significantly declined. Perhaps your family has a special way of celebrating specific birthdays, or do those days feel like every other day? How do you navigate, celebrate, and acknowledge your life transitions?

Possibilities and Important Life Transitions

As you consider these questions, and the ones that naturally follow, it’s my hope that you see the beautiful possibilities within these important transitions. I invite you to choose where you may want to introduce, expand, or upgrade rites of passage in your own life. Consider what will enrich and nourish you. What supports your growth and happiness?

Let’s start by exploring the difference between a ceremony and a right of passage. A ceremony is a formal event that is usually performed to mark an important life transition, such as a wedding or a graduation march. A rite of passage is a ritual , tradition or initiation that marks a person’s transition from one stage of life to another, such as a young adult’s transition into adulthood, becoming a parent, or navigating life after a divorce or the physical transition of a loved one.

Ceremonies may be part of a right of passage, but a right of passage calls for a change in how you see and experience yourself. You may feel like you’re being tested, stretched, or given the opportunity to slow down to look at yourself or life in a new way. You are moving from one stage of life to another. With transitions to new stages, you will be called to reflect, and shift how you see yourself.

Rite of passage ceremonies can be important mile-markers, opportunities to celebrate, clarify, and receive, or pass along valuable wisdom. They can also provide a sense of identity, community, and support to the individual, and are also important reminders to evaluate your perspectives and values as you navigate life and move into new territory.

Some Ceremonies and Rites of Passage Traditions

1. Navajo – The Navajo have a traditional rite of passage ceremony called Kinaaldá. This ceremony is a four-day event that includes prayers and singing, and is meant to help young girls become women.

2. Australian Aboriginals – Australian Aboriginals have a traditional ceremony called The Walkabout, which is a rite of passage for adolescent boys. During the Walkabout, the boys travel alone for several weeks in the desert, learning about the land and their place in the world.

3. Sami – The Sami people of northern Europe have a traditional rite of passage called siida. Siida is a ceremony that marks the transition from childhood to adulthood. This ceremony involves a series of rituals and tests that the individual must pass in order to be considered an adult.

4. In India, the Hindu wedding ceremony marks a right of passage into married life. The tradition is usually a three-day affair and involves mantras, pujas (prayers), and rituals that symbolize the union of the couple in marriage.

5. In China, a traditional retirement ceremony known as gaohuang is held for a retiring employee. This ceremony includes a banquet, the burning of incense, and the presentation of gifts. The retiree is presented with a red envelope containing money, which signifies good luck.

6. A vision quest is a ritual or spiritual journey in which a person seeks a vision or spiritual guidance. It is common among many Native American cultures and may involve fasting, meditation, and prayer in a natural setting, often in a solitary wilderness area. The purpose of the quest is to gain insight, knowledge, and a deeper understanding of oneself and one’s place in the world.

7. Jewish mourning rituals vary by culture and denomination, and may include Shiva. This is the first seven days following the death of a loved one, during which time family and friends visit the mourner’s home. Some Jewish traditions use Kaddish, a 13th century, Aramaic prayer to sanctify, or give praise and thanksgiving. Unveiling of the tombstone is a ceremony at the cemetery where the tombstone is unveiled and dedicated. And Yahrzeit is the anniversary of the death of a loved one, marked by saying special prayers.

8. A Celebration of Life ceremony is a gathering to remember a person who has transitioned into nonphysical form. It’s an opportunity for family and friends to gather and share memories, stories, and honor the life of someone they knew and loved. Generally, music, readings, and/or photos are shared. Refreshments might be served afterward and the elements can vary widely.

9. A Chinese funeral is often a multi-day event meant to help family and friends find closure. During the funeral service, a Buddhist monk may recite prayers, while the participants burn incense and paper money to honor the person leaving physical form. After the funeral, there is may be a week-long mourning period that involves visits to the family home and the gravesite.

10. In some Native American cultures, the bereaved may gather together for a ceremony to connect with their loved one and find closure through prayer, meditation, and spiritual guidance

Some climates, illnesses, and routines can create isolation during these times of transition. We’re also more mobile and geographically dispersed than many of our ancestors were. Thankfully, we also have technology like video conferencing and faster modes of transpiration.

Yet, we’ve also moved into a culture that glorifies efficiency, productivity, work, and “busyness”. And with this perspective, we can lose something really important. We can lose the joy and nourishment from those moments of community, and connecting through shared stories, experiences, and growth. In addition, many people no longer have the benefit of a wise elder, or a wisdom council that oversees their well-being and the health of the community.

Without pausing and appreciating the deeper meaning of these life transitions, we can lose sight of the power they hold. But, when we see these moments as the sacred opportunities that they are, we can expand happiness, love, and personal mastery. We can become more for ourselves, and our communities. We can have a deeper sense of who we are, see what we truly value, and choose who we want to be as we continue to grow.

A rite of passage is an opportunity to reflect and consciously choose how you want to complete an important segment of your life experience in a human body. Inside on-purpose reflection, completion, and celebration, we can grow in ways not previously available to us. We can become better receivers, and freer givers. We get to see how deeply we touch one another, as we share our lights. We can also consciously choose a vision for a new future, from a new perspective of self, when we are called to do so.

How to Create Your Own Rite of Passage Ceremony to Celebrate an Important Life Event

1. Choose what you want to celebrate, acknowledge, receive, and/or give. What life transition are you currently navigating?
2. Decide what you want from the experience. What would benefit you right now? Do you want to do this as a private inner journey, share this moment with another person, in a small or large group? Do you want an experienced guide to help you on your journey? What would be most helpful to you right now? Feel into this and choose from self-love.
3. Create or find a ritual or series of practices that supports your heartfelt desires. How will you begin? How do you want to feel at the end of the ceremony or experience? What do you want to know that would make the biggest difference for you, as you experience this life transition? Do you want celebration, fun, a quiet moment of reflection, clarity, guidance, readiness for your next adventure, transformation, closure, or some combination of these experiences? Your rite of passage can include differnt stages. For example, you may have a private meeting with a trusted advisor to gain higher clarity and transformation, then have a personal journaling closure ceremony, followed by a celebration dinner or ceremony with a friend or friends. You get to choose, and these events can be spaced in a way that nurtures your specific needs.
4. What elements do you want to include? What feels good? This can include activities such as singing, dancing, meditation, journaling, lighting incense or candles, being near a body of water, and/or storytelling, burning bowls, chimes or gongs, special foods, uplifting music, silence, and/or connecting with loved ones etc. Choose the elements that nurture your growth and happiness. Also, you can partner with a friend, healer or Life On Purpose Coach to help you choose the elements that would be most useful for you at this time.
5. Choose a meaningful or beautiful location. Consider the significance of the place and how it relates to what you want to celebrate, mark, complete, or release etc. Let this be a source of joy for you!
6. Before a ceremony or aspect of your rite of passage begins, set a clear intention for the event. This can be something like “to celebrate and acknowledge what I’ve learned about ___________”, “to honor a loved one”, “to welcome in parenthood and celebrate a new soul in our human family”, or “to powerfully begin a new chapter of of my life”. Know too that if you’re sharing this ceremony with others, or are part of a ceremony led by another, those participating may have differnt needs, and be at differnt stages. For example, when experiencing the physical transition of a loved one, people will naturally experience that according to the meaning they have around letting go of a physical body. Most people will experience a combination of emotions that may include everything from fear, loneliness, guilt, grief, to relief, peace, deeper presence or connectedness, and/or appreciation for the special moments they were able to share with their transitioned loved one. The beauty in sharing some aspects with others, in a safe space, is that you can gain helpful perspectives that might not otherwise be available to you.
7. Once the ritual(s) and right of passage is complete, it’s time to celebrate! This could include a feast, a gathering of friends and family, or any other way of enjoying the moment, and commemorating this special event.
8. Add a follow up, checkin, connection, or celebration at a time that feels good or appropriate. Schedule a reminder on your calendar. This can give you an opportunity to see how far you’ve come. Checking in can also deepen your awareness of your next best steps. Also, people who’ve experienced a big life change will often share that once the initial event occurs, people will naturally go their separate ways. And this can leave some people feeling isolated. So, giving yourself that reminder to checkin with yourself, and/or a friend or family member to see how you and they are doing. This is a powerful way to give and receive love, and deepen your joy as you continue to grow and evolve.

"A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Embrace the change, no matter when it is; once you do, you can learn about the new world you're in and take advantage of it."

- Nikki Giovanni

Life is filled with moments. Some may pass without appreciating their significance, and some are meaningful, only as you reflect back on them. But as you expand awareness of these important transitions, you can live with greater awareness and purpose. You can build a deeper experience of yourself as a soul in a human body. You can experience the joy of family and culture, and grow with greater clarity, and soul-nourishing self-love.

Much Love,

Elari

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Author, Life On Purpose Coach, and Spiritual Channel

Elari Onawa

Life On Purpose Guide & Author Of Just Believe: How Faith In Yourself Shifts Everything

I’ve been coaching and leading Life On Purpose and Self-Discovery programs since 2003. Prior to that, I led large organizations for 20+ years, helping them align with their dreams and goals. And then I said yes and followed my soul’s promptings. If you’re ready for more fulfillment and joy, if you want to embrace more of your higher aspects, and connect with the loving support that is available for you … I can help you have that! Take a powerful online program, or schedule your 1:1 session here.

Rites of Passage for Growth and Happiness​