Criticism: What is it and
How Do We Transcend it?

Why do people criticize? What is criticism? Is there a way to easily transcend the feeling of being criticized, or the temptation to judge or criticize others? Let’s explore this because we’ve all experienced that feeling of being judged or criticized and that can get in the way of you bringing your light out into the world in a bigger way. We have to be able to rise above that, and I have a simple statement that is the inspiration for this message, that’s going to help you do just that. So, let’s do this!

I picked up a book several weeks ago. The title of the book wasn’t something I was all that interested in. But, I was getting a strong nudge to buy it, and so I did. I started reading it, but noticed that my interest level wasn’t there. So, I set it aside for several weeks, and went along doing my usual things, teaching, coaching, creating, writing, and of course, having fun exploring and expanding.

A Fun and Interesting Turn

Then yesterday, at the time that I am writing this, I decided to let the book go. I was clear that I wasn’t going to read it, and that is when — it happened. I picked up the book, and out fluttered this note, one tiny sentence, so powerful and revealing. And it was written on notepaper in the shape of a hat, something I’d never seen before, something that was obviously placed there by someone else who may have been browsing this book, before I bought it. Keep in mind, that this note was revealed after I had paged through it, and read 20 or so pages, and of course, the timing was perfect.

Here is what is said:

“A criticism is just a bad way to make a request.”

How does this statement land for you? “A criticism is just a bad way to make a request.” Let that settle in. This statement really struck me for many reasons, and I will get to that. First, I do want to credit Diane Sawyer. She is the person associated with this gem. For me, this tiny, yet powerful statement has the resonance of a Spiritual Truth, something that is Universal, and has the potential to set you free. So let’s go deeper and see why this is so powerful, and how we can apply this in everyday life.

Here are two powerful reasons why this statement landed for me, as such a Higher Truth.

Here are Two Reasons Why this Statement Landed
for Me as a Higher Truth

1. I had recently had a huge breakthrough around the way I was seeing one of my life long relationships, the one with my mother. The specifics are for another time and message. Let’s just say for now, that feeling criticized and never enough were wrapped up in there, inside that relationship. This was the last layer of a thread that had followed me around for a very long time. Do you have something you’ve carried with you, that you know doesn’t serve you, and yet, you haven’t completely moved beyond it yet? Well, this was one of those things for me. And I also knew that I needed to complete this last layer, in order to step into what I want to create next in my life.

This is where it is important to remember that we are all spiritual beings in a human body. This means that we can understand, and sense Higher Truth on a spiritual or conceptual level. And it also means that sometimes we grow and evolve different aspects over time. Some things we get quickly and easily, and others take a bit more time and experience.

Regardless of whether we’re getting a life lesson in a deeper way, or growing quickly and easily, we want to remember that — in order to “really get the treasure” or to put on a new, powerful hat so it becomes part of who we are being, and how we are showing up — we also need to get the physically oriented aspects of ourselves onboard too. In the human body, that’s the limbic system and the amygdala; they are the parts of our human selves, that are responsible for keeping us in the safe and familiar.

We are multidimensional, both physically and nonphysically oriented at the same time. This is why transcending criticism whether that is self-inflicted, or we are taking it on from someone else, or letting ourselves be affected by it, can seem like such a big challenge. Criticism can often feel like an attack, and that can fire off the flight, fight, or freeze responses.

Another way to say this is — we have higher, wiser aspects of ourselves that we can call upon, thankfully. And, we also must effectively deal with the human need for safety and familiarity as well. We are spiritual beings in a human body and need to honor both. We can’t ignore the human part and expect to happily and easily navigate life. That’s why I offer so many tools, that help you see, embody, and take inspired actions from that expanded higher perspective that is part of you. You are wired to grow and evolve. So, anything that gets in the way of that, needs to be transformed, so you can happily grow and thrive as you are meant to.

When you want to manifest something outside your current experiences or comfort zone, that requires transformation or evolution. You could even use the words transformation, evolution, and manifestation interchangeably, and you’d be quite accurate in doing so.

My Spirit Guides told me many, many years ago that…

“Your heartfelt dreams and desires are the language of your soul.They call you forth to who you truly are.”

My Spirit Guides

Embrace Your Soul Truth

This means that we evolve into our heartfelt desires, we do this by expanding the way we see ourselves and what’s possible. We physically become the one who already has that desire, so we are able to have and hold what is calling us forth.

So, manifesting always means letting go of what doesn’t serve, and embracing the Higher Truth and possibility, becoming the one who has the heartfelt desire. You know that you have had a breakthrough and embodied a higher truth when you feel a visceral shift in your body, in your thinking, and at the emotional level too. When you shift, you are at peace, and your way-of-seeing and being expands. You bring in more of your Higher or Soul Truth. So, this is an important reminder to love and honor yourself as you continue to grow and evolve as a soul in a human body.

2. The others reason this revealing Truth is especially pertinent right now — again that Higher Truth is; “A criticism is just a bad way to make a request.”

is because culturally there is so much criticizing and finger point going on right now. It’s being amplified in many families, and inside many organizations, politics, and some news outlets as well. So, it’s especially important right now to stand inside Higher Level Clarity. And this seemingly simple statement can help you do that.

So let’s look at how to powerfully use higher-level perspectives to transcend

– Feeling criticized
– If you are witnessing someone criticizing, or
– Catch yourself criticizing another.

Feeling criticized

So, the next time you feel like you are being criticized; ask yourself — what am I making that statement mean? This helps you step out of the emotion, and into the realm of clear perception. Recognizing that our interpretation may not be accurate, that we might we operating from a conditioned response, or taking on someone else’s “bad way of asking for help” is very powerful.

Now you can ask the individual you’re conversing with; what is your request? They may not know until someone asks that illuminating question. This helps clarify what they are really looking for, and what they are really trying to convey. Remember that there is almost always an unmet need underneath a complaint or criticism. You do not have to say yes to the request, unless you truly want to. In any event, you’ve given yourself and the person you are interacting with a powerful gift — higher level clarity. And from this space, new understanding, and new and better choices can be made.

If you’d like to go deeper into handling Emotional Triggers, see my video Emotional Triggers: Simple Strategies That Work: What To Do, What Not To Do

If You Are Witnessing
Someone Criticizing Another

First, bring your focus into your heart, take a deep breath and release. Then ask yourself; is there anything for me to do here? You’ll get an instant yes or no. Trust that. If you get a no, move on and tend to your own wellbeing and vibration. Let them be; there is nothing for you to do. They will work it out, or will receive the tools to do so when they are ready.

If you get a yes, then there’s something you are being called to convey or see for yourself. Move into neutral observer, or be present, notice what is happening without labeling it. Notice your higher guidance.

Often, higher guidance comes in the form of a simple statement or question, if there’s something you are being called to share. Just know that if emotions are high, it will take a bit of time for that energy to dissipate, and this may not be the optimal time to share a new perspective. It can’t be received if there’s a lot of adrenaline and cortisol flowing in someone’s body. Perhaps you will circle back individually, if that is your role, and you’re invited to do so.

If you do have that conversation, do so from the perspective of being of service, and only if they welcome your input. If so, one possible statement might be, you are usually so calm and centered, what is it that you are looking for that you could give to yourself right now? This keeps people out of finger pointing, and also puts the power back into their hands, in what they can actually impact at the current moment. Acknowledging another way-of-being, in this example, calm and centered, plants a new seed/possibility, even if it’s not factual at the current moment.

Sometimes, people believe that certain needs have to be met through specific people, which is often the case between a child and his/her parent, or between spouses. So, there can be a higher charge around the perception of criticism in these cases. But, here is a Universal Spiritual Truth to consider — whatever you want or need, you must first give to yourself in order to truly have it.

I may write a followup message, or make a future video about that one, because it is so liberating once we take that on. In fact, I could do a whole program about that single statement — whatever you want or need, you must first give to yourself in order to truly have it. If you’re in my Fun and Prosperous Life Membership, you already are using these tools. If that is something that might interest you, you can go here to be notified when we open the program again.

For now, ask the question — What is it that you are looking for that you could give to yourself right now? We all have the ability to choose a better perspective, and create an improved state or vibration, to create a better feeling. We can make a higher-level choice, and expand what is possible for ourselves in doing so.

So, let’s say that you are being guided to observe, because there’s something for you to learn.

In this case, make a mental note and schedule time to reflect on what you observed, and what you are being called to see for yourself. When you do this, lean into the feeling that you had as you observed the criticism taking place from a place of pure curiosity. Bring your focus into your heart, or out into your energy field a few inches from you body and ask yourself — what am I being called to see that would be helpful for me?

You might be called to release a belief or perspective that no longer serves you. You might get an epiphany or an aha moment. Either way do the work, so you have the freedom you are being guided toward. We get helpful nudges and inkings all of the time. When we follow them, we can significantly improve the quality of our lives, manifest things faster and easier, and grow and evolve in a fun, joyful way. If you need help shifting beliefs, especially if you have a tendency to be self critical, get my book “Just Believe: How Faith In Yourself Shifts Everything” . It’s a great tool and goes deeper into shifting beliefs. where they coming from, and being unstoppable.

If You Catch Yourself Wanting to Criticize Someone or Something

Take a deep breath, release and let that go. Don’t make it worse by making yourself wrong too. Instead; ask yourself what do I really want? Remember criticism is just a bad way to make a request.

Now, in this case, the request is one that you are sending out into creative substance.. So, if you follow through on a criticism, you are actually energizing what you do not want. And you may also be inadvertently making someone else responsible for the way you feel, something that is not in your best interest as a soul on a human journey. Instead of that; ask yourself what is the outcome I do want? Choose that and energize it by seeing is easily done. You can also write your desire in the form of a new choice and story, or close your yes, and see the best possible outcome done in the best way for you. I get that it can be tempting to make wrong, we’ve all done that at some point, but if we do that, we energize what we do not want. That’s why complaints and criticisms feel bad. We don’t want to feed them, because they’ll expand.

Cultivate what makes you feel happy.

Let’s say that you don’t like a global event, like the war in Ukraine. It can be really tempting to criticize and make wrong. However, if you make it wrong, or rally against it, you energize conflict and war. You feed the energy of conflict and war through your assessments, conclusions and attention to it.

Instead, answer; what is the outcome I do want? Let’s say that your answer is peace and harmony. Now, what does that look and feel like for you? Maybe you see everyone happily in their homes again, embracing one another, or having a meal together celebrating their new expanded horizons and possibilities. You don’t need to see how that can happen. Feed the desired outcome, peace and harmony. You could also write about why you like the feelings of peace and harmony and how good it feels to have that, and then see that energy of peace and harmony spreading out throughout the planet. You’re feeding harmony and peace, and being a person of positive influence.

Let’s look at one more example, one that’s not on a global scale. Let’s say that you have a desire to be more present or mindful during the day. Start with a clear committed choice. One good way to do that is to make a statement of appreciation as if it is already done. So that might look like; “I love and appreciate how present and mindful I am during the day because … and then list some reasons why you love being so present. By doing so, you are embodying that way-of-being. Then, if you choose to take an inspired action from there, that’s even better.

If feeling that it is already done isn’t easy for you to accept yet, try this instead. State you’re choice as a willingness or readiness to have it. That might look like I; “I am willing to believe that I can easily be more present and mindful during the day. And I love this because … Again, you are getting present to the reasons why having this feels good to you. In doing so, you are energizing that choice and desired outcome. Any inspired actions you receive from this way-of-being will come from your desired outcome (easy presence and mindfulness) and will be aligned and powerful.

So, that’s it for now. I recommend taking a few moments to get present to what you learned and how you will use this so it becomes part of your toolkit for a fun, prosperous, and spiritually rich life.

You can start by sharing this message with others by using one of the social sharing buttons below, or sending the url of this message ( https://elarionawa.blog/dealing-with-criticism ) to your friends in an email. Thanks for sharing!

Much Love,

Elari

Want more like this?

You’ll get an email from me every Saturday with my latest blog post or video message. I’ll also send you surprise tools, and will occasionally tell you about an upcoming event or program you might love!

100% Privacy and a peaceful, no-spam place of ease and grace!

Author, Life On Purpose Coach, and Spiritual Channel

Elari Onawa

Life On Purpose Guide & Author Of Just Believe: How Faith In Yourself Shifts Everything

I’ve been coaching and leading Life On Purpose and Self-Discovery programs since 2003. Prior to that, I led large organizations for 20+ years, helping them align with their dreams and goals. And then I said yes and followed my soul’s promptings. If you’re ready for more fulfillment and joy, if you want to embrace more of your higher aspects, and connect with the loving support that is available for you … I can help you have that! Take a powerful online program, or schedule your 1:1 session here.

Criticism: What is it and How Do We Transcend it?