Here’s the question I’ve been sitting with — what does being nice to yourself look like? And then — what happens when you commit to that, as in make it a priority and actually use it? This doesn’t mean perfection, it means — this is what I am available for now.
“I am incredibly nice to myself. No exceptions. I am now radically, incredibly, fabulously nice to myself. So be it!”
You might think that being nice to yourself is natural. But for many people it’s not.
Maybe sometimes you are, and sometimes you’re not. We can find all kinds of reasons why this is so, but that rabbit hole isn’t needed here.
So, let’s explore that with three possible choices.
1. Are you more apt to be self-critical or self-encouraging?
Just notice, without adding judgment, because you are now incredibly, unconditionally nice to yourself, remember?
And if you didn’t make that choice, maybe this perspective will be useful; awareness, without judgement, opens the door to better choices, and exciting new possibilities. Without that awareness, we can stay in the loop of doing what we’ve always done, even when it’s not really working for us.
And if you’re new here, I’m inviting you to this unconditional self-encouragement zone. Sound like something you can commit to … or at least try on for awhile?
If you’re reading this, I’ll call that a yes.
2. Are you more likely to honor what you really want to expand, or do you let outside circumstances and conditions dictate what’s possible for you?
Again, simply notice what is currently true for you. And then ask yourself; which direction is better/nicer for me? What do I really want to choose … and then make that choice in the best way that you can.
Here’s one more exploration …
3. Think of something you’ve wanted for a long time that hasn’t yet materialized. Now, notice the thoughts that emerge in your mind immediately after that desire comes into your awareness.
Does is start out uplifting … and then morph into reasons why it’s not here yet, or why it’s not possible yet? Maybe your first thoughts are something in the neighborhood of … “like that’s going to happen” .. or “wow, the idea of that feels so amazing” ?
Here’s something to consider when you observe your self-talk — are you letting it lead?
Here’s something to do in the week ahead if you really want more clarity and joy in your life.
Start noticing your conclusions and assumptions when you think of something, and as you interact with your world and those in it.
Assumptions are mental shortcuts that can momentarily feel efficient and satisfying. But … they are unverified, and can lead to misunderstandings, severed relationships, and costly mistakes.
And conclusions create endings. They say; “that’s just how it is.” We’re shutting the door on what else could be true, available, or what might evolve. This is sometimes the reason why scientists can get caught in their theories, or people can be blind to what’s right in front of them.
For now, if you want to experience something really liberating do this.
For the next week, simply notice your conclusions and assumptions and then ask yourself —
☀️ If I accept this as true, what does that create?
☀️ Am I being nice to myself?
Here’s to playing in the sandbox of time and space!
With Love,
Elari
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Author, Life On Purpose Guide, and Spiritual Channel
Elari Onawa
I’ve been leading Life On Purpose and Self-Discovery programs since 2003. Prior to that, I led large organizations for 20+ years to the C-Level, helping them align with their dreams and goals. Then I followed my soul nudges in 2003 to start a business that supports caring, conscious women in releasing what doesn’t serve their joy and purpose … in favor of a soul-led way to work, live, and thrive! If you’re ready to expand what is possible for you, in a graceful, soul-nurturing way, I can help you do that. You can discover how to work with me here.
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